I am Chris's Geek Webpage

Author Chuck Palahniuk conducted a reading/signing on Wednesday June 7th in Ann Arbor, MI. It's a multi-city tour to promote the recently paperbacked edition of Haunted. The event drew about 300 fans - a respectable turnout what with kids these days and their Grand-Theft MTV super-sized ring-toned non-reading habits.

Palahniuk was very unassuming, well manicured in a simple crisp white shirt and black pants. Given the nature of what the guy writes, I was expecting someone more, I dunno, threatening. Disheveled. Tattoos. Maybe some fresh stitches.


  • Palahniuk showed up an hour early to sign for the die-hards. The event officially ran from 7-9pm, but I understand he stayed until after midnight to accommodate everyone.
  • Chuck tossed heavily-scented fake velvety roses out to the crowd - these sorta tied into an amusing unpublished short story he read called "Mister Elegant" (about a male stripper with epilepsy who meets a female stripper with narcolepsy). As Palahniuk predicted, after ten minutes the entire auditorium smelled like "your grandma's bathroom".
  • It was a fantastic QnA. Afterwards Palahniuk leisurely signed pretty well anything set before him.
  • Those who asked questions during the QnA scored a ridiculous salad-bowl sized rose. As he was opening the shipping box he noted the jumbo roses smelled "like Chinese slave labor".
  • If you were dork enough to take a picture with the guy, it was done with a rubber severed arm w/bloody hand. I noticed photos with the ladies involved the hand on a breast (with permission).
  • As a sort of teaser for his next book he cracked open another box and tossed out large vinyl rats, baseball sized squishy hearts, and fluid-filled eyeballs. Unfortunately, Chuck discovered when you ship fluid filled eyeballs by air, they tend to explode. Each eyeball had burst, though that failed to stop the man from pitching them into the crowd. Leaktastic. Scope the video (2MB).
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